Small Crises
Jan. 31st, 2007 08:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thelibraniniquityWell, I've been doing prep. work for the 'Practice of Politics' lecture/meeting... thingy which is tomorrow, which basically means I've been reading case studies of various folks who have graduated from Keele with a Politics degree. At some point in all of these documents, the people interviewd have yammered on about work experience and involvement with the SU and other stuff within the university and so on and so forth.
See, this is the thing. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm doing at university, why I'm here, what the bloody point of it all is. I have absolutely no idea of what I want to do after I graduate, be it further studies via a Masters etc, or starting a career... somewhere.
I am completely clueless at the moment. And here are all these case studies saying how important it is to figure these things out now so you can structure any/all extra-cirricular activities accordingly, thus fleshing out the CV et al, and thus land yourself the Dream Job chugging away in some office building be it in Scotland or Westminster or even bloody Brussels.
I don't know that I want to do that. I'm not the most outgoing of people by a long shot, it takes time and familiarity for me to start to come across as anything other thanuptight shy, and despite my oft-repeated mantra that when something needs to be done, I can and will do it, usually fairly well, I am fairly certain that in a messy, busy, fast-paced job I will not last a day, let alone a year or few.
And this is the disparaging part... I don't exactly have the best role models for steady jobs. Dad's been unemployed of his own volition for more than 10 years, and since I was very young, Mum's almost always been self-employed and barely making enough to live on. One set of grandparents met as professional ice-skaters, and retired before they hit 40. My grandfather was career military until he was forced to retire young through ill health, and my grandmother was another single mother working part time. All of which leaves me with this: I don't want an office, or a "nine to five" kind of job. (Then again, I don't want kids either, so that's the single mother issue out of the window straight away.) I don't want to be stuck doing the same, routine things day in, day out, for weeks, months and definitely not years at a time.
In an ideal world... huh. In the most ideal world I'd probably write for a living. Of course, this assumes I ever get out of the mindset that I'm a crappy writer (despite almost everyone else telling me otherwise), therefore I cannot write therefore I do not write. There is also the not-so-insignificant issue that writing isn't steady, can go either way... hang on a second. So, I want steady without the steady??
That makes no sense! And yet it does, I think. We live in a gratuitous society. Everybody wants something for nothing, to paraphase the quote from Hustle. Maybe that's why I can't make up my mind. I don't want to be rich and famous, but I would like to live reasonably comfortably somewhere with a cool view, doing something for a living that never (quite) stays the same, and is capable of keeping my interest over a longer period of time. It's more than likely that by the end of my degree course, all I will have is a joint History and Politics degree, with a web design course (and paid work in web design on the side hopefully over the summer and into next year) being the only one of the freaking CSPs that I actually got anything out of.
And all I can think is... maybe I should have done something like Media Studies at A-Level after all...
I am completely clueless at the moment. And here are all these case studies saying how important it is to figure these things out now so you can structure any/all extra-cirricular activities accordingly, thus fleshing out the CV et al, and thus land yourself the Dream Job chugging away in some office building be it in Scotland or Westminster or even bloody Brussels.
I don't know that I want to do that. I'm not the most outgoing of people by a long shot, it takes time and familiarity for me to start to come across as anything other than
And this is the disparaging part... I don't exactly have the best role models for steady jobs. Dad's been unemployed of his own volition for more than 10 years, and since I was very young, Mum's almost always been self-employed and barely making enough to live on. One set of grandparents met as professional ice-skaters, and retired before they hit 40. My grandfather was career military until he was forced to retire young through ill health, and my grandmother was another single mother working part time. All of which leaves me with this: I don't want an office, or a "nine to five" kind of job. (Then again, I don't want kids either, so that's the single mother issue out of the window straight away.) I don't want to be stuck doing the same, routine things day in, day out, for weeks, months and definitely not years at a time.
In an ideal world... huh. In the most ideal world I'd probably write for a living. Of course, this assumes I ever get out of the mindset that I'm a crappy writer (despite almost everyone else telling me otherwise), therefore I cannot write therefore I do not write. There is also the not-so-insignificant issue that writing isn't steady, can go either way... hang on a second. So, I want steady without the steady??
That makes no sense! And yet it does, I think. We live in a gratuitous society. Everybody wants something for nothing, to paraphase the quote from Hustle. Maybe that's why I can't make up my mind. I don't want to be rich and famous, but I would like to live reasonably comfortably somewhere with a cool view, doing something for a living that never (quite) stays the same, and is capable of keeping my interest over a longer period of time. It's more than likely that by the end of my degree course, all I will have is a joint History and Politics degree, with a web design course (and paid work in web design on the side hopefully over the summer and into next year) being the only one of the freaking CSPs that I actually got anything out of.
And all I can think is... maybe I should have done something like Media Studies at A-Level after all...
