"How do you feel about jumping me?"

The Mother has a Hot Date (tm) this Wednesday, and in a moment of utter insanity has asked me what she should wear.

All notion of me being the last person anyone should go to for relationship advice, the fastest reply I could come up with was, "Something that says 'Jump me!' but doesn't yell it?"

We banter for a moment on possible outfits and messages that can be conveyed by said outfits. [Dialogue removed to protect The Mother.]

It turns out to be a matter of wording. "What you need is an outfit that politely asks 'How do you feel about jumping me?'."

She ponders this for a moment. "Something brown... I've got that brown velvet dress..."

Okay, then.